Loose Lips Sink Ships

To my surprise not even twenty minutes after spilling the milk – his girlfriend was on the phone, “hi Chris” she said in a slow sweet perky voice – leaving me unaware – that she was aware that the damage had been done. “What did you tell Karl?” she says slowly and calmly forcing her lips to conform to nice words – she is evidently conscious of every word she speaks, the tone, pitch and volume all projected to hide the emotion of anger – that anyone would have towards a person that undid months of secrete planning in a slip of the tong – as I had done to her. For example she would be at a table ten feet away in the middle of a conversation, slowly turn her head away from the person that she was talking to – look at me – smile briefly and more genuinely then could have been possible - given the situation– and then turned back as if her eyes had simply fanned the room and rejoined the conversation without incidence.
Dealing with everything that I have been going through with the perpetual unemployment, a household unit drowning in alcoholism, gym inferiority complexes, student loan payments and ever increasing credit card debt – something far more embarrassing happened. Despite my already depressed position– I became that guy – that tells the guy whose surprise party it is – that there is a party for him.
To answer your question a head of time – No – I didn’t do it out of malice or intent – but rather out of complete stupidity. I wish I could have simply said “I didn’t know that it was a – “secrete” or lied straight out and said “I never spoke to him at all” or imply that “it was the organizers fault (who happens to be his girlfriend) that she never told me ANYTHING about keeping it secrete.” Although all of those responses at the time seemed tempting – they were not adequate. I would have to face the music – and with that thought my phone rang instantly. I looked at the number on the phone but it was not familiar to me – I answered anyways – not concerned – placing the phone to my ear – and it was her.
When you get in trouble for doing something – sometimes its nice if you get hit for it – or cursed out – for in these cases the victim has given the victimizer peace of mind – they have enacted their punishment and all is well. This was not the case – she gave me no punishment – simply smile – after smile – after smile.