Haiti - destroying my misconceptions 1.6

Haiti - destroying my misconceptions 1.6

I role off of the living room coach and flip to CNN – for what I expect to be – nothing in the area of what it turned out to be. Images flashed unyieldingly through my eyes of the carnage and destruction that the earthquake had left behind. The destruction that I saw I need not describe - one simply has to close their eyes for a moment and can immediately conjure up that face that stood out to you, that child, that mother, that father, that friend.

One such story was the narration of Reverend Pat Robinson over the occurrence of the earthquake of Haiti being the direct result of a pact that Haiti had made with the devil to rid them selves of French colonialism. In a single line of twisting biblical narratives to conform to the belief that wherever there is a tragedy there is a god enacting punishment on a people for turning away from Him – Robinson dirtied the face of all of Christianity. But even this tragic soiling of the message of Christ would take a back seat to another more powerful story.

Although my mind was mesmerized around a story of pain and tragedy – of suffering and defeat other stories were arising. Destroying my misconceptions of a cruel and selfish world – of weak and incapable human beings – would be the response of the world – and of the Haitian people in light of the tragedy. Even more prominent on my mind then the faces of the dead or dying – would be the faces of survivors and volunteers digging with bare hands through concrete slabs and rubble – for the possibility of finding loved ones still alive. Even more prominent then the words of a renegade reverend – would be the prayers pouring in from Churches, Mosques, Temples, Synagogues and people – which would give God the access needed to save lives. More impactful then the rivers of tears pouring out on the streets were those that despite having lost loved ones decided to honor them by singing and dancing. This week I witnessed America a nation built on violent militarism commit its two former presidents to contribute to the effort in Haiti. This week I witnessed Israel who engages daily in a cruel and oppressive apartheid system be the first country to set up a field hospital in Haiti that far surpasses anything else on the ground right now. This week I witnessed actors, actresses, singers and comedians forget about self indulgence by placing the Haitian people first - through telethons, performances and emotional cries for help.

This is not to say that Haiti is not going through something tragic and stands as a reminder as to the fragility of all life – and the inherent unfairness of it – but that this story is not the prominent one. This is not to say that there are not those out there that continue to say cruel, hurtful and inconsiderate lies about the Haitian people and their past – but that they take a backseat to the unfolding of a much more powerful and truer narrative. This is not to say that there still are not people out there that despite a large bank account have not contributed anything but that the greater story is of those that have given more then they had to give.

I have a comment for you that disbelieve that can be phrased best in the once loathed words of a war mongering American President turned Haitian philanthropist – “you are either with us or against us” George W. Bush. The story of people who continue to hope and dream for a better tomorrow with blood, sweat and tears and a world willing to dream with them through actions and donations – into a great and glorious future – is the story that will stand the test of time; not the carnage – the insensitive or the selfish but the bright, the hopeful and the courageous.

Weights and Measurements 1.5

Weights and Measurements 1.5

The gym is a place of weights and measurements, distances and dimensions, securities and insecurities. The physical body is perhaps in no other place in society placed under such scrutiny as in the gym. I walk in and look at the long row of free weights starting from as low as 2.5 pounds all the way to 100 pounds or more. The lowest weights are the closest to the door and the heaviest weights are the farthest from the door as if they were in their own exclusive area. Those that can’t lift as much are confined to the area closest to the door unable to advance for fear of injury and embarrassment in the land of the VIPs.
I have always been a smaller built person that some people would call skinny but I would prefer to call it – having been blessed with one of the finest metabolisms the world has even seen. Seriously my metabolism was born in a small village in Kenya and used to deliver messages to neighboring countries on foot – as a form of charity after he got home from the war. Although my heart greatly appreciates his hard work and dedication – it doesn’t do much for my muscle build – which my pastor calls the “Marathon runner look” and goes on to say that – “there is no other reason to look like a Marathon runner then to be a marathon runner.” So I have been eating a lot of protein – eggs – peanut butter- milk – cheese and tuna not for the taste but simply to change the way my physical appearance compares with the competition. Also, so my pastor will stop picking on me.
Some people say that they go to the gym to get healthy – which can be effectively translated into what most civilized religions in the world call lying! If you are under 40 and in the gym chances are your primary motivation is not health – I mean in some ways I am there for my health too – but really what I fantasize about on the way to the gym is my transition into a bulky warrior beast of a caveman – not an impressed look on a doctors face after a check up. So health is a factor but it is not what gets me under the bench press in the morning.
Although there is this shallow motivation to change my physical appearance and to a lesser extent to improve my health – I think there is a larger factor that I am neglecting to mention. It is this over all feeling of wellbeing that you get when you make significant physical movements during the day. NO, I am not talking about clicking the remote, or the long walk from the front door to the car door, or from the parking spot to the office desk - I am talking about physical activity that makes you break a sweat – and if any of the above exercises do cause you to break a sweat you should seriously consider seeking medical attention. But really this over all feeling of goodness that seems to just sweep over your body – and lets you know that you can do anything else during the day – is the main reason I go to the gym.
It’s the New Year and it’s a good time to get into the gym – its one of those simple solutions – that I have been able to implement and it has been well worth it. It would also be an added benefit if I could one day beat up my pastor for telling me I look like a marathon runner – in a fit of carnal man beast aggression and if I can’t – then I will just convert to Hinduism.

Soulspedia 1.4

Soulspedia 1.4

Well those of you that don’t know me that well - might be surprised by this story. It’s a story that is often not told – because it congers up feelings of embarrassment in many of its victims – or those effected by its victims; the events that sometimes happen in house holds that we make sure the neighbors and family members might get peep shows at but never confront face to face; an ugly contradiction in the closet of our society that many people deal with in solemn silence; this cancerous limb is not a secrete but it is kept as one, like a horse hiding behind a pole; it is hopelessly concealed yet blatantly obvious.
Despite its many names only one name is truly fitting – Soulspedia. It is easy for our bodies too take vacations – these excursions are simply a number of miles away – but not so easy is it to escape our selves. We are hopelessly confined to our bodies – with hope of escape – seemingly only in death. Soulspedia is the word that I use to describe the process which we go through to escape ourselves – instead of Expedia which takes our bodies away – I want to talk about the things that we use to take our minds and souls on lavish vacations.
The ticket is pricey. It comes in the forms of many names coffee, alcohol, antidepressants, hash, pain, attention, weed, cocaine, heroin, acid, ecstasy, movies, love, shopping, video games, popularity, sex, entertainment, food and all the other words in the dictionary. The range and intensity of its use differs on the bases of the person but they find similarity in the promise that they facilitate escape of the mind and soul from the confines of self. The unyielding desire of the human being to float away from itself – to fix the unfixable – and remedy the Closter phobia of confinement.
The promise of that drink, that smoke, that drug or that companion, which propel human beings to choose the tool of their escape. Many might be concerned about the danger of the things we run too but it can be far more revealing to depict the isolation we run from. In social settings we quickly plummet into our escape pods – tiny glasses filled with magical elixirs – hiding our insecurities from ourselves for a nominal price. Music fills our ears at a level that makes conversation undesirable. Conversation is repulsive because it reminds us of ourselves and in these moments we wish to be recreated. Soulspedia creates that escape so that we no longer have to stay confined – during interviews with stars we do not watch them – we become them. We do not admire them but rather our new self – embodied in the smart, beautiful and funny people – we were never recognized for being. What we run from is the blatant obviousness of our imperfection.
I have been the first hand witness to the progression of a person from using a substance to forget who they are – to falling in love with their escape so much so - that they had no propensity to realize what they were running from. It no longer mattered and the result was a person that had not the ability to look at them selves in a state of sobriety longer then it took to get himself to the liquor store – and to throw it down the hatch. Like the coach of the loosing team that had infinite time outs – to postpone that defeat – they were too scared to face – not seeming to know that - next Sunday would be another game to win – that they could start over.

Rebel with Too Many Causes

Rebel with Too Many Causes .3

Thanks to all the good feed back on my blog…its amazing how many people are entertained by my self destructive life style. Because I have been getting so much feed back on how people are so concerned about how I have been doing I have decided to write a blog entry about some of the positive things that have been going on in my life but they are few and far between.
But seriously there are some good things – for one - although no one has actually landed me a job yet I am surprised by the amount of people that have really tried to help and continue to help me try to get a job. Remember its not the people that want to be around you when your doing good that are your friends – it is the people that are there with you every step of the way through the worst of times that are truly your friends for life. Thankfully I have a lot of people around me that have shown their loyalty through this difficult time.
Other then these things my life is much the same. I surf the internet for political causes that I can get angry about and complain about them to anyone that is willing to listen. Its funny but I miss my University days were issues and debates were readily at hand – now that I have graduated I am forced to target innocent by standers.
The best I get is debating my pastor on why the Christian missionaries being killed in the Middle East are not really martyrs but the result of decades of Western oppression and domination – combined with the insensitivity of a pastor marching into territories where American soldiers were killing innocent people by the droves just a few weeks earlier to try to preach the gospel. Or debating on why honor killings are not actually apart of Sharia law – have nothing to do with the Islamic faith – and are both cultural and rare. I am always amazed at how much Christians and Muslims know about worst of each other.
One of the funnest things that I did was post an article about Israeli’s harvesting Palestinian organs to my fairly pro Israeli Church’s Facebook page. Now that I have the FBI’s attention maybe I will get more hits on my blog.
By the way to my critic (you know who you are) I am going to try my very best not to wake up in the morning and start drinking red wine. I have decided to push it back till at least mid afternoon – or just switch to white.

The Life of a Graduate

The Life of a Graduate Wednesday, January 06, 2010

So I have discovered since my last blog that other people don’t want to be included in my blog. So how do you write about yourself when you can’t write about the people around you – especially the ones you are disgusted with – you can’t. So let me just blow up everyone’s spot from the get go. Today’s blog is going to be about all the people that said they were going to get me a job and did not. I know what your thinking – I am not taking any personal responsibility in the situation and your right to a degree – too often days that were supposed to be spent surfing the internet for job opportunities and career paths were spent on the coach, on Facebook and pirating movies. At my lowest points I will wake up and start the day with a bottle of red wine – huddled with me under the sheets – held close to my chest like a lost love. My better days are spent burning through the pages of the latest novel – carrying me away to someone else’s realities and problems – which I solve easily – and criticize the characters for not doing the same. My family is growing weary of the amount and depth of obscene comments I throw at television and movie characters – as I have conversations with the television and ignore the people around me. Family members find refuge from my self deprecation only because of my erratic sleeping schedule – which is a combination of late nights and cat naps. But let me not ramble on and get to the point of this blog – blaming other people for my problems. So my life long friend Aidan was supposed to get me a job at CIBC Mellon when I got to Toronto in the summer time – I am still unemployed. My cousin – blood cousin Kevin – has a nice cushy job at TD Canada Trust – other then receiving my resume I don’t think he has given it to anyone at TD – at least Aidan tried – so much for family. My other cousin Kevin who works for Purolator and happens to be an X-pig – that said he was going to get me a job with his extensive list of contacts – hasn’t got me so much as one job to apply for. Last but not least I guess at the end of the day more then anyone else I do have to blame myself for my current situation but its so much better blaming someone else – after all it is always their fault! Or maybe its not my fault and I just now live in a world were a University degree is worth as much as the paper that it is printed on. The value of free thought, analysis and expression I guess has little value in a capitalist world. I mean who really benefits from me being able to write a 25 page essay on any range of political topics that is so beyond the intellectual reach of common people – I may as well have written it in Aramaic. What corporation can benefit from this – most society today benefits from complacency – our ability to freely and individually – conform ourselves to the direction of the herd. We as a western society honor such animals as the bald Eagles – a symbol of freedom – but perhaps it would be more fitting to honor – a sheep. I guess freedom also means our ability to freely give up the freedom we have been given to gain access to the pockets of corporations through the cute little pay checks they give us. As I sit here and beg for a job I am begging to sell my individuality – the way I dress – the way I speak – the way I walk – the way I cut my hair, the shows I talk about at work and the ones I don’t. But the things I am talking about are revolutionary – and I don’t deserve to speak of these things as I almost on a daily bases try to sell my mind, body and soul to the corporate world for a middle class salary. Hopefully one day soon I will be making too much money to care to talk about these things.